Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
