i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
