I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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