There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
