is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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