I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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