I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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