we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dignity is for republicans.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
