dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
