My brain says no but my pants say off.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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