No, you can still breathe under the balls.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
