so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
