I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
