Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize