I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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