But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
