im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize