Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
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He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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