I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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