You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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