I'm really into asian looking animals
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
