I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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