so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
