MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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