i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
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I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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