Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
