I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
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afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
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How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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