Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
