I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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