hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
