your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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