they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize