Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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