Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
we're so committed to being not committed
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
