Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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