I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's just like the Real World with babies
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
