I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
