So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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