I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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