god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
