walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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