I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
