my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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