If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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