she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
