The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.