Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward. http://tfl.nu/djmy
  Replies (64) Good night (1976) Bad night (8551)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting. http://tfl.nu/bt6j
  Replies (21) Good night (4151) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends? (1-204): When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why? (204): I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well... http://tfl.nu/o1jd
  Replies (21) Good night (7843) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in http://tfl.nu/qgu1
  Replies (12) Good night (5019) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me. http://tfl.nu/og6e
  Replies (11) Good night (1387) Bad night (3993)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night. http://tfl.nu/91q5
  Replies (7) Good night (1021) Bad night (4885)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid" http://tfl.nu/i4ng
  Replies (12) Good night (5487) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?! http://tfl.nu/iqkb
  Replies (59) Good night (2047) Bad night (5366)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight. http://tfl.nu/0gxd
  Replies (11) Good night (2341) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I like to think of it as a lesbian feast. http://tfl.nu/2rcn
  Replies (10) Good night (1665) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real. http://tfl.nu/ype2
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer. http://tfl.nu/osbe
  Replies (8) Good night (1584) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/9e16
  Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was a sexy soul patch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH. (724): it was a sexy soul patch. http://tfl.nu/u7f5
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse" http://tfl.nu/14wb
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (756)

Randomize