Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I feel like death. Did you die last night?

(305): View more from Florida

Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!

(859): View more from Kentucky

unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus

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(859): I feel like death. Did you die last night? (305): Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta! (859): unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus http://tfl.nu/lgid

Replies (8) Good night (2177) Bad night (612)
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(954): View more from Florida

you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

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(954): you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now http://tfl.nu/39yk

Replies (82) Good night (26929) Bad night (1597)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.

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(860): I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus. http://tfl.nu/nv5c

Replies (17) Good night (4250) Bad night (655)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

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(610): I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/4je5

Replies (9) Good night (5086) Bad night (930)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.

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(570): I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless. http://tfl.nu/rrlk

Replies (6) Good night (3911) Bad night (711)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.

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(828): That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy. http://tfl.nu/c9sd

Replies (18) Good night (4672) Bad night (1148)
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(516): View more from New York

i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either

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(516): i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either http://tfl.nu/wksp

Replies (4) Good night (819) Bad night (2566)
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(813): View more from Florida

thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not

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(813): thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not http://tfl.nu/vkjn

Replies (10) Good night (1316) Bad night (2372)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.

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(719): I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm. http://tfl.nu/n4fu

Replies (13) Good night (1446) Bad night (1253)
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(254): View more from Texas

I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him

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(254): I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him http://tfl.nu/r8ta

Replies (2) Good night (1889) Bad night (604)
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(323): View more from California

Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.

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(323): Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking. http://tfl.nu/kzzf

Replies (1) Good night (1447) Bad night (518)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.

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(216): I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches. http://tfl.nu/a2wa

Replies (2) Good night (731) Bad night (341)
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(714): View more from California

Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.

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(714): Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/n1sj

Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (393)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Why do you hate her?

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....

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(601): Why do you hate her? (1-601): She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina..... http://tfl.nu/0u28

Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (269)
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(970): View more from Colorado

you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...

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(970): you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants... http://tfl.nu/t3k2

Replies (2) Good night (261) Bad night (385)

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