Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
