There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize