I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Randomize
