Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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