i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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