I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize