hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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