Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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