Farmville is her only friend.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
