i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
