It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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