I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
