I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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