it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
