What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I love you.
Bad choice
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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