8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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