So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
